Another instalment from the real world of processes…and no, I’m not making this up.
Deutsche Bahn, the german railway and network company, has just provided a great example of how to mend a small fracture by applying a sledgehammer and then describing the resulting hole in the wall a successful application of modern house insulation techniques – a breath of fresh air so to speak.
The background to this unbelievable story: Twice this year, a high speed train, the ICE, failed to stop at Wolfsburg, home of VW. Passengers then had to get off at the next regular stop and were shuttled back to Wolfsburg by bus. Initial comments by Deutsche Bahn blamed the train drivers. The Deutsche Bahn marketing department sought to make the best of the situation by providing free tickets to train drivers to see VFL Wolfsburg, the 2009 german Bundesliga champions, in order to make them more aware of Wolfsburg. Plus of course a lot of the usual ‘won’t happen again’, ‘once – sorry, twice – in a lifetime occurrence only’, ‘train drivers are only human you know’ and ‘Deutsche Bahn loves Wolfsburg’ stuff in the press.
Last week, yes, you’ve guessed it, it happened again. I for one was certainly surprised to find that a ticket to a soccer match does not provide enough braking power to get a train to stop. Of course, using our unique Process TestLab approach I immediately set about throwing a piece of paper on the road … but while this got me some funny looks from my neighbours, it did little to actually bring a single car to a halt. Then I had a stroke of pure genius: I devised something I’m tempted to call a timetable, listing all the stops, their duration plus the exact hour and minutes when to enter and leave a train station. Not only might this timetable be used by train drivers, it could even – hold on tight to your seats – be used to replace the work of fiction currently on offer for passengers.
But maybe this is still a bit too futuristic for some. Instead, Deutsche Bahn has now issued the following decree to all train drivers: Whatever you do and even if you’re not meant to stop at Wolfsburg, stop anyway. So the non-stop train from Hamburg to Berlin (if there were such a thing) would now be a non-stop train with a stop at Wolfsburg.
I have no idea what this will do to the punctuality-drive recently announced by Deutsche Bahn, personally I’d much rather have a train stop when and only when it’s supposed to.
Of course, there are two positive aspects to this: Wolfsburg could now easily become the city boasting the highest number to high speed train stops in Germany and passengers no longer need to ask if a particular train heading in the general direction of Wolfsburg will stop there – all trains stop at Wolfsburg.
Btw, Deutsche Bahn has now identified the root cause of the problem – a mistake in the electronic timetable (huh?). So this story serves as a simple reminder that a problem in one process may lead to unforeseen consequences in other processes. The analysis of impacts of one process on other processes is of course something we pride ourselves on at the Process TestLab, so much so that we spend a lot on time on train journeys, travelling to meet clients. Although travelling to Wolfsburg I’ll probably use my car.
Update: I’ve been reminded that despite all attempts to standardize processes, Wolfsburg has not been made a mandatory stop for passengers travelling from Guildford to London in the UK. But should the list of (planned) stops take you from Cobham to Oxshot to Claygate to Wolfsburg to Hinchely Wood and on to Waterloo Station, at least make sure that you get a stop over receipt in Wolfsburg. Somehow I doubt that compensation claims for an undocumented 2.000km detour are covered by normal compensation processes.
Illustration by Dimitry Klimenko
